All Grown Up.

September 4, 2008

Given the fact that I 1) haven’t written in here in ages and 2) am now officially a grown up since I have graduated from college, I’ve decided that it’s time for me to move on blog-wise as well. As much as I loved Just Like A Unicorn (and still do, I don’t think I’ll ever find a name quite as good), I think I’m going to leave this chronical of the second semester of senior year as its own, freestanding being. For some reason, it just wouldn’t make sense to have my blog about my grown-up life in the same blog as my college (and un-grown-up) life.

So, friends, any of you that are actually still reading this–I’ve got a new home.

unicorngrowsup.wordpress.com

I’m pretty excited about this. It’s time to leave behind the home where I record the highs, lows and the passive aggressives for a place for me to complain about being unemployed and how it drives you to drink in the afternoon…because clearly, I didn’t before.

See you at the new spot!

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Sad News.

June 11, 2008

Today I realized that with the re-tearing of some unknown portion of my knee, I can’t really do kitchen floor/back of couch gymnastics anymore. Though the fact that the couch has moved makes that more difficult too. Anyway, it’s sad. No more fun jumps on the wooden floor that I can pretend is a balance beam. I need a new knee.

WELCOME TO THE COUNTRY

June 10, 2008

Currently I am living at home. I am trying to get a job and find an apartment but it is rather difficult. But the most difficult thing is probably the fact that there is nothing to do around here and I have no friends because my only friend around right now is my cousin Lindsay who works all the time at Old Navy. I probably was going to have a job at the Barnes and Noble Cafe serving Starbucks Coffee but then the girl that was supposed to quit didn’t and that was another way I was going to try to make friends.

Anyway, I already told this to Scott (who requested that I started writing in this thing again, which is funny because I almost gave it up for good yesterday out of boredom and a desire to change my facebook profile) but tonight’s options for entertainment are:

1) The second half of Ocean’s 12, in which sometimes Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot and in which sometimes she isn’t that hot and which is sometimes and interesting movie and sometimes an uninteresting movie (I actually forgot to tell Scotty that option).

2) Logo’s NewNowNext Awards on the computer.

3) Mr. Wrong, the movie Ellen made when she was still pretending to be straight.

Clearly, all but option 1 will be occuring after the family goes to bed.

Anddddd I’m Back

May 21, 2008

Again. After a long hiatus I have returned to my little bloggy home after a whopping two people asked me to. So here I am.

I am taking a night off from the haze and disaster that is short term/senior week because last night I rebroke my knee. In the past four years I’ve had two ACL tears and a meniscus tear, and now I’ve done something else. Awesome. I can’t straighten my leg. You know it’s bad when it feels more normal to have a hurt leg than a healthy one.

Anyway, here are some things I have realized in the time I have been not posting:

1. Having an iPhone makes me not use my computer very much at all.

2. Not using a computer makes typing feel really weird when you finally do it again. Seriously, it’s been weeks since I typed anything much longer than search terms or a web address.

That’s about all. I love Deadliest Catch, Die Hard, Will & Grace and Sex and the City. Also, I think the Oxford Comma is stupid.

Part 2 of Hipsters on a Train coming soon as well.

The lights are clearly a must, they go on the bottom of the chosen pool to make it beautiful. Quad, here we come!


Everything in Texas is absurdly far apart. Like, seriously. The shortest drive is like half an hour/twenty minutes. It’s absurd. Unless you want to go to CVS, the bank, Kroger, the walk-in-hair-cutter’s or the nail salon.

Our subdivision is giant. I do not understand my way around it. Also, the fun part is that there are sections. Some are fancier than others. But for each section, there are certain home builders you can choose from. And they each have plans you can choose from. And each plan has a few different options. Including different versions of the exterior. So it LOOKS like every house isn’t the same, even though they basically are on the inside.

My favorite game is called “Count Our House.” When we are driving to our house I like to count how many of our house there are. Because I know what the other exterior options are. Except we just take this really short route home, but on the short way there are already 4 of our house. It’s a fun game.

I am also thinking about trying to bring a comedian to school for Short Term. She is very pretty and a good team player, if you know what I mean. She is also funny. Though sometimes she is funnier than other times. But that is true of everyone. She has one funny joke that is a metaphor about teaching babies to roller skate that rings very true to my life. But this is something I need to figure out. Except I think the only way to contact her is through her MySpace. Which she does seem to pay attention to. But it just doesn’t seem very professional.

I like thinking that I am being cryptic. I do not think it works very well.

The Frasier on tonight is one with the loud woman. I do not like her. This is sad.

Seriously. That was a terrible idea. I had to stop mid-post. I thought I was ready because I was getting really good at texting and searching things on google, but apparently it doesn’t translate as well.

Anyway, things I have learned since being home:

1. Central time is kind of annoying. All the good shows come on way too early, day or night. Particularly Frasier. This makes it hard to go to sleep.

2. I like Sex and the City. I have to admit it now. I’m watching it when it’s on TV, not just when Lizard or Sammy rents it. No good.

3. My new fake girlfriend has replaced my old fake girlfriend. Also, I need to move to L.A.

Once upon a time in Williamsburg, there were a bunch of hipsters that decided to take the train. They wanted to go on a vacation, and they wanted to do something ‘new’ so the could out-hipster all their friends. They decided to leave the comforts of their apartment and take the train from New York to Seattle.

The Hipsters were very excited about their plan. They talked to their friends for weeks and weeks about all the cool people they were going to meet on the train. They talked about how it was going to be just like olden days, and how their trip functioned as a resistance to the culture of instant gratification that had developed. Plus, they were going to meet so many cool and interesting people, and really get to appreciate the beauty of America you just fly over in a plane.

So, skinny jeans on and iPods in pockets, The Hipsters arrived at Penn Station, ready to get on their first train , which stopped in Chicago. Standing on the platform, they were so excited they could barely keep apathetic looks on their faces. ‘This is going to be awesome!’ Hipster #1 squeeked to Hipster #3 in a moment of weakness.

Soon their train was called and the conductor guided them to their seats for the 15-hour sojourn. They were seated in pairs in the same row in coach, but much to their dismay, their car was not the aesthetically pleasing vision they had in mind! The car was dark red, with navy, grey and orange stripes running vertically down almost everything! The Hipsters were so taken aback, they didn’t know what to do. After taking a moment to think, they decided to sit down for the moment, and then ask the conductor if they could move. But as the car filled to maximum capacity, The Hipsters realized that moving might not be possible. They also realized something else even more terrifying–the train might not be the undiscovered mode of travel it thought it was. To try to ease their minds, they took out their iPods and lounged back with the lastest graphic novels and pretentious theory-fuck books.

Why Helloooooo

April 13, 2008

Well, the train journey is over, and I’m in Texas. The sleeper car was like being on the Hogwarts express. And Texas has been lovely so far… very Texas-y. Currently I’m procrastinating. Procrastinating? Yes. Sadly, when I tried to upload the final video I made for one of my classes, my stupid hard drive got disconnected, so I have to do it all over again. I also have to write all these essays. So annoying. But, before I get back to work, I have two orders of business.

1. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are about to release a movie called Baby Mama. And while I’m sure the film will be some sort of problematic, since I haven’t seen it yet, I just want to be happy about the fact that a film where the two main characters are women is pretty exciting, since there’s only been a handful of those in recent years. Yes, their roles are stereotypical, but whatever. Amy Poehler is awesome and Tina Fey and I are getting married.

2. One of the things I did on the journey was write a story. So, starting in about three minutes, my story entitled ‘Hipsters on a Train’ will start to be published in serialized for on this blog, similar to how Little Women was published serially in some magazine starting on MY BIRTHDAY several scores ago.

New Places, New Faces

April 8, 2008

I’m currently sitting in the Albany, NY train station. I’m about to embark on the second leg of my train journey from Maine to Texas (technically just from Boston to Texas…I took the bus from Lewiston to Boston).

High points of the journey so far:

1. This new kind of train. The journey from Boston to Albany was on some different model of train than the one that goes from Boston to D.C. Major differences include more leg room and the result of that–farther away and bizarrely lower tray tables. However, the best major difference is the foot rest. In addition to the normal bus/train foot rest, this train had a fold-out foot rest from the bottom of your seat so you can basically turn your seat into a recliner. I think it must be a train designed for long, overnight train rides. Anyway, I ended up opening the one next to me so that I could sit diagonally from my slightly reclined chair and use my tray table for my coffee, my computer as a lap desk and the other foot rest to get the perfect leg position for pretty much the perfect angle. It was pretty awesome, and VERY good for my productivity, since I still have a paper to finish.

2. Yuengling. Yuengling is one of my all-time favorite beers; however, I’ve had to live with the fact that it’s really only available in the Mid-Atlantic region, and thus a treat I only get when visiting D.C. or somewhere similar. But this lovely train had bottles of Yuengling in the dining car. It was a most pleasant surprise. I think I made it an hour and half (maybe two) before buying one. Though expensive, it was pretty excellent.

3. The man in the aisle across from me. The man in the aisle across from me for most of the ride had pretty much the best handlebar mustache I’ve ever seen. I tried to take a cell phone picture for my friend Tom but I couldn’t get a good angle without it being obvious. But it was the greatest thing ever. As was his outfit of mesh shorts, a t-shirt and jacket, a racecar/Bud Light hat and headphones. Oh, how I wish I could have known what he was listening to on his MP3 player.

4. Not having a seat buddy. Though in general, I’m a pretty social person, I really love not having seat buddies on trains. I love being able to stretch out, and, more importantly, I need to–or else the arthritis starts acting up. One of the reasons I hate flying (besides the whole up-in-the-air-thing) is the havoc it wreaked on my knee-and that was before the second surgery. The complete and utter lack of leg room combined with all the pressure changes makes my knee a very cranky knee. This is also one of the reasons I dislike the bus as well. My old lady knee needs its space

Those are the highlights thus far. Low points include realizing I forgot the four journal articles I printed out yesterday for my paper in an attempt to be together and realizing that I never gave a professor a bunch of stuff she needed to write me a recommendation, primarily because I forgot I was applying to the program and I forgot the deadline. I also forgot to sign my graduation papers, so those are going to have to wait too. But forgetting the journal articles was especially frustrating because I was trying SO HARD to remember them. Also frustrating was losing my grey Converse at some point last night between 1 a.m. and 7 a.m., so I had to wear my boat shoes instead, which just don’t work as well. And they have tons of sand in them. And I’m wearing them with my Wesuit sweatsuit right now with socks, so I look really dumb. A pink trimmed sock, a purple trimmed sock, boat shoes and giant black sweatpants with red lettering. Never a good look.

Alright. I’m off to the gift shop.